Post by Desdemona on Jan 17, 2006 20:19:19 GMT -5
Behind the large green wood and steal door on the third floor of the Maelstrom Manor, was Amos' room. Two voices were yelling behind it. The female voice was explaining why she had said something that Kale was going to... and he was just being angry, and hurtful...
Amos yanked out of her grip once again, twisting the knob and opening the door, but not walking out. "Des, you're forgetting." He turned to gaze at her, his face a mix between annoyance and anger. "I'm one of the grandsons of Merlin. My magic far surpasses yours." And with that, he walked out, slamming the door behind him.
Des sighed, her hands were shaking. "I... need..." She muttered, standing up. "I... want... to..." Des walked out of the room. Of course, she had lied. Really, there was no barrier, and she had been surprised that Amos hadn't seen that. But right now it didn't matter. All she knew was that this was the worst she felt since.. before she died. Memories danced in her head like the time Amos had killed her by choking her... he'd cared then, and hadn't she comforted him telling him it was alright? Des could feel her knees shaking, threatening to give out under her weight of her heavy heart. She barely made it out the door before she fell to the ground, her limbs quivering, shaking. It wasn't that last comment Amos had given her, it was the whole thing.
"I'm such an idiot..." She said through hot tears streaming down her face. Des' heart felt like it was going to give out. She wanted to die. "I can't go on... No one cares..." She said, a lump in her throat catching. There were moments when Des would just sit there and have a good cry about the day ahead or behind her. You'd think the whites of Des' eyes would be red from all the crying.
Desdemona's hearing was very acute. Every-time Kale started yelling at her, Des would also hear Kale's little self also yelling at her not to listen desperately because of the telepathy. Des tried calming down and listening to one at a time... but Kale is and was so loud that it just makes Des snap sometimes.
To further go into Des' problems.. Des also blamed herself for not stopping Kale form taking medicine as a child. Anti-depressants and sleeping pills plus dream inducing pills all at one time. With that combination, it can change the mind, twist it sort of, and then the child will never be the same. This conclusion explains why Kale is so... moody, and why she's always yelling at Des for doing what she's told to do. This is how Des' mind works, one thing at a time. Conclusions, explanations, questions, conclusions, explanations, questions... so on and so forth.
And if it weren't for what happened next, Des would have been lying there, letting her tears run all day and probably into tomorrow.
A gentle, warm hand pressed it's self against Des' cheek as if to stop the flow of tears. That hand was tiny, but not exactly frail. "Don't cry..." The voice of the little girl beside Des said softly, as she retracted her hand. Pale grey eyes stared at the tear drops on her tiny fingers, before allowing a blue and orange sleeve to slide over her hand. With that, she began to wipe away the tears that still came. "Don't cry, Fluffy. You'll make yourself sick." The tiny version of Kale stared at Des' face as she tried to wipe away all the moisture her thick sleeves could hold. "You said so yourself. Crying'll make you sick."
Des couldn't help but let more tears come as she sat up and held little Kale. "I missed you so much, Kaley," Des said, using her old nickname for Kale. "I'm sorry I'm crying, Kaley. There have been just.. so many days when I forget how wonderful it is to have you for a little sister, and then everything else overwhelms me..." Des said, starting to calm down as she held little Kale in her arms, like holding her one and only child.
Kale smiled, trying to sit up and continued to wipe tears away from Des' face. "I know, Fluffy. I'm sorry for changing so much..." her voice trailed off, and she offered a sad smile. "I never meant to become so mean to you. I'm sorry."
Des shook her head. "I should have stopped you from experimenting with those medicines, Kaley." Des licked her cheek affectionately, as a sister would. "You would have made better decisions for yourself, and others."
Kale giggled softly, pressing her tiny hand against Des' cheek again. "It's not your fault, Fluffy. I should have told you when I noticed something was wrong. I was just too scared to...."
Des nodded, suddenly wishing she could take it all back. That she could go back and stop Kale from ever having those pills. Those... drugs. Des pushed her forehead against Kale's gently, offering a sad smile. "Kaley, tell me... what do you think of your older self?"
Kale shook her head sadly. "I don't like her. But...I guess it's my own fault. I made myself that way, and I guess it's just the way things were meant to be."
Des sighed, not being able to bring herself to lie and say it wasn't Kale's fault for... it was her fault. Partially Des' too, for not stopping her.
Kale gave a small smile, tipping her head to one side. "Fluffy....don't blame yourself. It's just the way things were meant to be. We can't take it all back and change everything, no matter how much we want to. Even with magic, it wouldn't be right. That would mean serious damage to our futures, missed opportunities that made us better people..."
"Yes, yes... I know, Kaley." Des nodded. "But it's nice to think that it's possible, isn't it..."
Kale smiled, nodding her head. "And it can always be like it used to be, in our dreams. I know...that's where Amos sees me all the time."
Des's smile turned sad, then just disappeared altogether. "Amos... I tried... I really did... He wouldn't let me comfort him and... we just blew up in eachother's faces." Des' eyes seemed to go out of focus, staring at Kale's small child feet. Her breaths came more deeply, as if calming herself, remembering the argument...
It was between Des and Amos. Des had merely stated what Kale wanted to state but was too afraid to. The simple fact that Kale didn't want to be any more than friends to Amos,and to leave her alone at night. Though Kale still loves Amos...and Nikx.
After telling him this, Kale and Kiki as witnesses, Amos got really mad and scary. He stormed off to his room, slamming the door. Des sent Kiki and Kale off to the only place she could think was safe; the mall. While Kale and Kiki bought some jeans, Des was trying to talk to Amos, and calm him down before he got hurt or hurt anyone.
Well, talking lead to yelling, yelling went to threat-filled voices, and that lead to Amos just walking out. This leads us to Des zoning back in as Kaley began to say...
"It's alright, Fluffy. He's okay." Kale pressed a finger to her lips, her normal cute and yet oddly mysterious smile on her face. "He's asleep. And that's where he'll stay. In a pretty dream, for quite sometime."
Des looked at Kale, and raised an eyebrow. "Kaley, what did you do?"S he asked, smirking.
Kale sighed, smiling up at Des. "I just...put him to rest. In his own pretty dream. He's not dead, if that's what your thinking. He's just asleep."
Des chuckled, petting Kaley's head, losing her mind and body in thought once more. The time Kale made Des run away fro the first time... the time Vatale disguised himself as Nikx and took advantage of Des... the time Des first met Nikx, but she was a ghost... The first time Amos had killed her, she had come back to comfort him... When Amilia was born, had Des not helped Kale through labor? When Kale married Nikx, was Des not there with a smile on her face? When Keegan and Amos were lust-driven playboys out to get Kale and Des, was Des not protecting Kale most of the time?...
There were so many tears in her life. So many memories..
Written on the tombstone in the graveyard, it reads,
"For every memory, a five tears are shed. I have lived so long.. yet I have not drowned myself. That, in itself, is a miracle." ~ Desdemona Marie Rennelds
Born: 1700 Died: _____
Amos yanked out of her grip once again, twisting the knob and opening the door, but not walking out. "Des, you're forgetting." He turned to gaze at her, his face a mix between annoyance and anger. "I'm one of the grandsons of Merlin. My magic far surpasses yours." And with that, he walked out, slamming the door behind him.
Des sighed, her hands were shaking. "I... need..." She muttered, standing up. "I... want... to..." Des walked out of the room. Of course, she had lied. Really, there was no barrier, and she had been surprised that Amos hadn't seen that. But right now it didn't matter. All she knew was that this was the worst she felt since.. before she died. Memories danced in her head like the time Amos had killed her by choking her... he'd cared then, and hadn't she comforted him telling him it was alright? Des could feel her knees shaking, threatening to give out under her weight of her heavy heart. She barely made it out the door before she fell to the ground, her limbs quivering, shaking. It wasn't that last comment Amos had given her, it was the whole thing.
"I'm such an idiot..." She said through hot tears streaming down her face. Des' heart felt like it was going to give out. She wanted to die. "I can't go on... No one cares..." She said, a lump in her throat catching. There were moments when Des would just sit there and have a good cry about the day ahead or behind her. You'd think the whites of Des' eyes would be red from all the crying.
Desdemona's hearing was very acute. Every-time Kale started yelling at her, Des would also hear Kale's little self also yelling at her not to listen desperately because of the telepathy. Des tried calming down and listening to one at a time... but Kale is and was so loud that it just makes Des snap sometimes.
To further go into Des' problems.. Des also blamed herself for not stopping Kale form taking medicine as a child. Anti-depressants and sleeping pills plus dream inducing pills all at one time. With that combination, it can change the mind, twist it sort of, and then the child will never be the same. This conclusion explains why Kale is so... moody, and why she's always yelling at Des for doing what she's told to do. This is how Des' mind works, one thing at a time. Conclusions, explanations, questions, conclusions, explanations, questions... so on and so forth.
And if it weren't for what happened next, Des would have been lying there, letting her tears run all day and probably into tomorrow.
A gentle, warm hand pressed it's self against Des' cheek as if to stop the flow of tears. That hand was tiny, but not exactly frail. "Don't cry..." The voice of the little girl beside Des said softly, as she retracted her hand. Pale grey eyes stared at the tear drops on her tiny fingers, before allowing a blue and orange sleeve to slide over her hand. With that, she began to wipe away the tears that still came. "Don't cry, Fluffy. You'll make yourself sick." The tiny version of Kale stared at Des' face as she tried to wipe away all the moisture her thick sleeves could hold. "You said so yourself. Crying'll make you sick."
Des couldn't help but let more tears come as she sat up and held little Kale. "I missed you so much, Kaley," Des said, using her old nickname for Kale. "I'm sorry I'm crying, Kaley. There have been just.. so many days when I forget how wonderful it is to have you for a little sister, and then everything else overwhelms me..." Des said, starting to calm down as she held little Kale in her arms, like holding her one and only child.
Kale smiled, trying to sit up and continued to wipe tears away from Des' face. "I know, Fluffy. I'm sorry for changing so much..." her voice trailed off, and she offered a sad smile. "I never meant to become so mean to you. I'm sorry."
Des shook her head. "I should have stopped you from experimenting with those medicines, Kaley." Des licked her cheek affectionately, as a sister would. "You would have made better decisions for yourself, and others."
Kale giggled softly, pressing her tiny hand against Des' cheek again. "It's not your fault, Fluffy. I should have told you when I noticed something was wrong. I was just too scared to...."
Des nodded, suddenly wishing she could take it all back. That she could go back and stop Kale from ever having those pills. Those... drugs. Des pushed her forehead against Kale's gently, offering a sad smile. "Kaley, tell me... what do you think of your older self?"
Kale shook her head sadly. "I don't like her. But...I guess it's my own fault. I made myself that way, and I guess it's just the way things were meant to be."
Des sighed, not being able to bring herself to lie and say it wasn't Kale's fault for... it was her fault. Partially Des' too, for not stopping her.
Kale gave a small smile, tipping her head to one side. "Fluffy....don't blame yourself. It's just the way things were meant to be. We can't take it all back and change everything, no matter how much we want to. Even with magic, it wouldn't be right. That would mean serious damage to our futures, missed opportunities that made us better people..."
"Yes, yes... I know, Kaley." Des nodded. "But it's nice to think that it's possible, isn't it..."
Kale smiled, nodding her head. "And it can always be like it used to be, in our dreams. I know...that's where Amos sees me all the time."
Des's smile turned sad, then just disappeared altogether. "Amos... I tried... I really did... He wouldn't let me comfort him and... we just blew up in eachother's faces." Des' eyes seemed to go out of focus, staring at Kale's small child feet. Her breaths came more deeply, as if calming herself, remembering the argument...
It was between Des and Amos. Des had merely stated what Kale wanted to state but was too afraid to. The simple fact that Kale didn't want to be any more than friends to Amos,and to leave her alone at night. Though Kale still loves Amos...and Nikx.
After telling him this, Kale and Kiki as witnesses, Amos got really mad and scary. He stormed off to his room, slamming the door. Des sent Kiki and Kale off to the only place she could think was safe; the mall. While Kale and Kiki bought some jeans, Des was trying to talk to Amos, and calm him down before he got hurt or hurt anyone.
Well, talking lead to yelling, yelling went to threat-filled voices, and that lead to Amos just walking out. This leads us to Des zoning back in as Kaley began to say...
"It's alright, Fluffy. He's okay." Kale pressed a finger to her lips, her normal cute and yet oddly mysterious smile on her face. "He's asleep. And that's where he'll stay. In a pretty dream, for quite sometime."
Des looked at Kale, and raised an eyebrow. "Kaley, what did you do?"S he asked, smirking.
Kale sighed, smiling up at Des. "I just...put him to rest. In his own pretty dream. He's not dead, if that's what your thinking. He's just asleep."
Des chuckled, petting Kaley's head, losing her mind and body in thought once more. The time Kale made Des run away fro the first time... the time Vatale disguised himself as Nikx and took advantage of Des... the time Des first met Nikx, but she was a ghost... The first time Amos had killed her, she had come back to comfort him... When Amilia was born, had Des not helped Kale through labor? When Kale married Nikx, was Des not there with a smile on her face? When Keegan and Amos were lust-driven playboys out to get Kale and Des, was Des not protecting Kale most of the time?...
There were so many tears in her life. So many memories..
Written on the tombstone in the graveyard, it reads,
"For every memory, a five tears are shed. I have lived so long.. yet I have not drowned myself. That, in itself, is a miracle." ~ Desdemona Marie Rennelds
Born: 1700 Died: _____
